Some three weeks later here I sit at the end of my journey, my “quadrangle of awesomeness” at a close. Â As I wrote previously, this particular story is better measured in anything other than weeks or miles. Â I do not propose that the story I am telling is in fact what happened, only that in truth it did happen. Â I do not pretend there is no melancholy left in me even though this story’s chapter comes to a seeming close. Â And I do not promise you, the reader, that this is a story with a quote unquote happy ending. Â But make no mistake, it is my story.
It began many years ago when I drowned in Seattle rainwater poured over the clink of cocktail glasses and dimmed lights. Â I sat across from her obliquely, she a patchwork of shadows indecipherable making, at first, the sound of noisy static. Â The hurly-burly snapped cleanly in half and with it the static cleared, as if she in her own unintentional way had hurkily jerked a radio onto the only station in that vast dead sea we call cocktail conversation; it was then that I knew I was just along for the ride. Â I heard her, she growing rapidly louder until only a deafening quiet remained. Â I sat in the eye of a storm and knew I had but two choices: remain here and remain deaf, or else go back into the storm to her Siren call. Â I was drowned and wantonly so I drank the waters that poured over my head. Â Only later did I see past her as indecipherable shadows to be as goddess Cybele in Ovid’s Metamorphoses, dousing me in rainstorms to drown and return me to the sea; I “though born in hard and rugged mountains … now live in calm and gentle waters.” Â And if not as Cybele, she herself a Whitman prodigy, notes she is to be found down under our bootsoles. Â And if that is so then she as sea yields to became fertile soil, vibrant and lush. Â She eventually left the rain-soaked Seattle soil for the more fertile sands of Lebanon and now Dubai. Â And I in pieces by and by went off to find her. Â I eventually found her and heard her words. Â I let go of what was what. Â I let be what needed to be. Â Years then passed folded between the stilled falling leaves that came and then went. Â I saw my own marriage and subsequent divorce went, too, as it were. Â Sans me as the world’s longest long-shot, I thought there were no more second chances left to be gambled on me. Â But somewhere out of nowhere she appeared again. Â First as a simple, pixelated missive on my phone on the morning after the world stopped turning. Â And then she arrived, albeit briefly, in Seattle to visit all the places she left behind so many years ago. Â I sat with her one evening in my cafe. I sat in the shadow of her shadow and knew I was drowning all over again. Â Cybele she was not only. Â She, too, is my Muse. Â I sucked in the scent of her breath deep and deeply into the desiccated remains of Memory: IÂ exploded. Â Only then did I begin rolling down the map toward Dubai, at first believing I was coming for her. Â But I was not. Â I was coming for myself. Â I came to find my Heart that sits along a boulevard cafe waiting to catch a glimpse of her in the Dubai sun, it more often that not spending its days watching the sun set over those waters where her own heart rests. Â I came to find my Heart and bring it home with me. Â I came to Dubai to give myself the gift of a second chance. Â And I have done that. Â As for the rest, as they say, is history.