Changes

I feel that on the change from 2010 to 2011 a need to comment on things.  There were two (2) songs in the summer of 1985 that awakened in me an appreciation for the art of the lyric.  First was Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls for the sheer audacity, at least to me at that age, of a song that was so blatantly non-sensically sexually and frankly just plain fun to listen to for its irreverent, sanguine tribute to, well, fat-bottomed girls.  Simultaneous to all things Queen was in equal parts a dose of David Bowie’s and his album Hunky Dory.  Of the songs on that album it was first “Life on Mars” and the girl with the mousy hair that sunk into my subconscious as a song of notable lyrics.  Nevertheless, the album itself opened me up to listening to not just the music also the song, to the lyrics in and of themselves.  And so, as we move into a new year I am reminded of one such song, or:

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test”

– David Bowie, Changes

2010 was a year of many changes.  I found myself again alone after a second sudden divorce; and, I found that I was not a victim even if I was the great source of my own misery.   I found I could finally wake up from my childhood dreams.  I found myself somehow seemingly 100 pounds lighter than I have been in nearly two decades and also in the best shape of my nearly four decades.  I discovered the single most important activity I do on a daily basis is to share a meal with the people I love.  I rediscovered a passion for my artwork, not to mention a new found passion for photography (blatant plug to show you heart me on Facebook).  I discovered that traveling is more than just a stamp on my passport, but a real and serious part of my excess resources, both time and otherwise.  I discovered work is just, well, work even if I love it when I am there to clock in my nominal 40-hours.  I discovered there is a deep magic in the world if we but keep ourselves open and even if she was just passing through on her own travels.  I discovered I have a deep, undying belief that my soul-mate and I will discover each other.  And while I am waiting for her, I discovered that being alone is not a formula for be lonely even if not loving myself is.  Mostly though, I discovered that nothing is permanent; wait long enough and anything and everything will change.

Author: Ward

I’m the creator and operator of this little corner of the internets, writing on all things related to art and more specifically my experiences trying to figure this whole thing out. I guess I’m trying to figure out life, too, but mostly I just post about art here. View all posts by Ward